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*Sharifah/Shassy/ShinHyunHyo:
A fifteen year-old volleyball player/korean learner.
True Fact; I daydream a lot & I'm curious about everything.
"Life is not about being judgmental." Best viewed in safari.
inspirations by flagorneur


Thursday, April 29, 2010
-Solemnly.

"It's only been a day
But it's like I can't go on
I just wanna say
I never meant to do you wrong"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! I LOVE YOU! :D

I'm very fortunate and thankful to have a mother like her :-)
Plus! She's really cute/adorable. My mum got a china doll haircut.
She looked like my Aunt!(her sister) Oh I love her :-)

Today isn't really my day. Or any other days to come, in particular.
I feel like my soul/spirit had left and totally abandoned me.
Making me feel like a living corpse who couldn't respond to anything.
Maybe it's better if I stay that way, than having to go through an emotional process.
Or maybe I was too sensitive, just maybe. Or should I be bothered at all?
Now I'm feeling like there's a huge gap between us four. I don't know how it happen.
Or when it took place. All I know is we're not like what we were before.
I wanted to talk, I wanted to say something, or maybe mend the situation..
But those words that I've been aching to say ends up getting swallowed into my body.
Drained up and stored in my dreadful memory, something I would never forget.
Was it my fault? Was I the cause of it? Are they bothered that this happened? Or are they not?
Is it only me who feels that way? Is it only me who terribly didn't want this to happen?
I kept asking myself those questions, million times over but it all ends up with one thing..
Ends up with tears forming up at the side of my eyes. With emotions I couldn't describe.
Maybe I deserved it? But what did I said or do wrong? I know it's only been one or two days..
But it feels like a whole week, a whole month, a whole year, whole life.
I wanna talk to all of you again, just like always. Those times where we would be so close.
Just gossiping, laughing out loud at almost everything, imagining things we were craving to happen.
But maybe it won't happen anymore..
Maybe you all have someone to replace my position..
Maybe you want her to be with all of you more than me..
Maybe I'm not needed or maybe I'm completely unnecessary..
I miss the three of you babes.
They say friendship lasts forever, but did mine just stopped right there?

Typing all that seemed to have ruined my mood to do a proper post. Whatever.
Math re-test was exactly the same bunch of questions so it wasn't that impossible to solve.
Chemistry was okay, everything was slowly generating in my brain.

We had to continue with our group discussion about our drama/skit during CME lesson.
Jie Di purposely made someone sit beside me during the discussion. Too bad I didn't paid much attention to it.
I was in my own world, crying and screaming desperately for help but whatever, I had to snap out of it.
I was told to write the script. I guess it won't be that hard, right? The Quek Family~ Haha.

Recess, I don't really like the expression on Irfaan and Aliff's face when they turned and looked at me.
It made me feel so pathetic. Don't pity me, it's awfully humiliating.
That particular someone turned his whole body and looked right into my eyes. He just kept staring and gave a slight smile.
It was palpable. I guessed as much.

We headed to the library during English. Mrs Anya called me to do an oral practice.
Oh well, I might as well go since I've no one around me to keep me entertained while I was there.
So it went on and something happened. Mrs Anya was like interviewing me and such. She asked about it..
'Oh God'. I accidentally cried while saying all those things. I poured it out to her. I tried to laugh it off but it wasn't working.
She told me her side of the story. So basically, she's gone through that before.
I liked what happened next though :-) I went over to the front of the library corner and played Pictionary Mania with the rest :D
Man, that totally made my day better! We laughed the whole time and Wei En kept winning. Cool.
Some others joined in and all. Mrs Anya had to remind us plenty of times to lower down our noise level. haha!

I talked to Ms Rab for awhile before going back to class. I realized I was her height. I miss her manz.
Physics, we had to do a test or something like it. Wait, it wasn't since we were allowed to refer to our textbooks for answers.
F&N, we had to do corrections for our test papers. Was called out to look at Volleyball photos.
We spent the last 10 minutes of our FTC period to watch a few videos from YouTube.
Danial sat right beside me, I was shocked for a second. He was quick. haha. Then Amanda and ShiMin sat with us.
The videos were hilarious and painful at the same time. The whole class were going "Owwwww" and "Ouch!". Hahaha.
Left with Michelle/Amanda/YuJie/Felicia and waited for the rain to stop, walked out and yeah, the field was flooded.

Mr Emmanuel Aniga Onez || will not return to Singapore anymore?! He didn't even tell me anything!!
I'm gonna miss him calling me 'Shasseh' in school. Haha, oh well. Mr K.Nashrul is still so desperate about one thing.
Too bad, even if he ends up pleading or anything, I will still not give the number to him.
So that's that! Mr Shayiful will forever ask me to meet him up soon but it's still not happening.
He still can tell me his moving to KL or something yesterday. NICE MOVE (N).

Bintan camp, right before the holiday starts.
Should I go? I don't know if it's the right choice.
We used to talk about it all day and get excited just imagining things would happen.
Taking pictures, sneaking into each other's room, gossiping all night. Wanting to chit-chat with the guys and all.
I guess it might not even happen. :-(
F lah, why am I being so emotional? It's only been a week.
Oh wow, and I'm actually saying a week is no big deal?
There must be something wrong with me.